my kids say some CRAZY things (repost)

Thursday, August 24, 2006
Kids sure say some CRAZY things... Current mood: giggly
Today is Maddie's 2nd birthday!!! When Kenzie turned 1, we started a tradition to go out to breakfast for our birthdays. We used to go to Scrambler's, but I'm a stickler when it comes to checking health inspections, and they had a few too many negative ones for my liking, so we went to Shoneys, which had done well on their last few inspections. I guess Thursday morning is "geriatric day" at the Shoney's on National. We got there, and besides my girls, we were the youngest people there by about 40 years. Anyway, we're sitting and trying to enjoy a birthday breakfast, and the smell of old people was pretty overwhelming. Mackenzie looked in the corner of the room, where 3 ladies were talking about their bargains from Big Lot's, and she says at the top of her lungs..."What are those old ladies doing Mama?". Michael and I looked at each other and tried not to laugh out loud. I just told her something lame like "They're talking about the good deals they got" and she was ok with that, but it was so hard not to laugh.
She also has a fascination with "blue hairs" who make their beautician use a full can of Aqua-Net to "set" their hair for a week. Luckily, her voice is a high enough pitch that most old people can't hear it, even if she's being loud. I guess it's out of the range of their hearing aids. Anyway, she's too funny. And she thinks every old man looks like her "Great-Daddy", which is Michael's grandpa, and makes sure that she points it out every time.
When I was little, I'm surprised my mom even took me out in public. Believe it or not, until I got glasses and started losing my teeth, I was a super cute kid. But cuteness didn't make up for my lack of tactfulness. I was observant to a fault, and spoke my mind without realizing how it would come across. For example, when I was 4, we went to Mississippi to visit my great aunt, who had HUGE legs. The term "cankles" didn't even cover it. She had a medical condition called elephantiasis, which caused her legs, from thighs to feet to be about the size of the average person's waist. I saw it when she took her blanket off of her lap, and said "Wow Aunt Connie, you got legs like an elephant!" I thought it was cool, my mom however, did not. She grabbed me up and swept me off to the hallway and explained that I shouldn't say mean things like that. I told her that I wasn't being mean, it was "really neat". She made me go apologize, but I still thought the whole way back how cool her legs looked, and that she could be in a book or something. Another time, around the age of 6 1/2, we'd gone down to the family cememetery in the deep southern part of Arkansas where my grandpa was buried to put flowers out. My Granny was with us, and like any kid, I was curious about the whole cemetery and death thing, so my mind just ran as we were driving. This was a little over a year since my grandpa had passed away, and I said "Mama, I wonder what Papaw looks like now. Do you think he's all shriveled up and stuff?". I never thought it could happen, but somehow, my mom's arm hyperextended and she slapped me in the mouth before she could even think of what she was doing. Again, I wasn't being rude, just saying exactly what I was thinking. I don't think Granny even heard me, but my mom sure did, and I learned really quick not to talk about how wierd dead people would look after a few months in the ground.
So now, I just have to pray that Maddie isn't as vocal with her thoughts as I was. She's too much like me in other ways, and I should have known that my mouth would catch up with me someday. Scary thought, a little payback in the form of a cute lil' girl. The Bible does say that we'll reap what we sow, and hopefully my seeds of having a "loose tongue" weren't planted too deeply.
The 2 best things I've heard kids say would have to be the following...
We were at the doctor's office one day, and this African American guy was in the waiting room, just trying to relax. On the other side of the waiting room was a mom with a little boy about 4 years old. His mom was not paying any attention to what he was doing, and he soon ran over and started talking to the guy. He was nice enough to the little boy, and then the little boy decided to stand up in the chair next to him. Admittedly, he was overdue for a haircut, and had a pretty good head of hair growing. The little boy touched it, and yelled "Hey mister, you got hair like a sponge!" Then he did that annoying little dance and made up song thing kids that age do, singing "Sponge hair, sponge hair, you got sponge hair!". I felt so bad for the guy, and the mom didn't even respond to it. It was horrible but funny at the same time.
The 2nd thing is pretty good too. I like to mow the yard. It sounds wierd to most people, but it's relaxing to just mow and at the same time enjoy the sights of what God's blessed us with. Anyway, I'd just gotten done mowing, and our neighbor's 6 year old daughter says "So are you mad at Mike?" I told her no, and then asked her why she thought that. She said, "Well, when my mom is mad at my dad, she goes to mow the lawn." So from that day on, when I see Debbie mowing, I know there's a little angst in the neighboring house.
I know this was forever long, but if you have young kids or one on the way, just remember this. Kids hear things that you don't think they're listening to, and will inevitably repeat it at the most akward moment. Be ready!
Kids learn by example, so guard your mouth, and remember that if it shouldn't be repeated, it probably shouldn't be said!