Alrighty ya'll, here's another good one. It's a kind of "taboo" subject, so if you don't want to read about how Christians should view sex, then don't read any further. I found it to be a great read, but not everyone is willing to approach the subject matter. God gave this gift to us to enjoy in the bonds of marriage, and this deals with common thought patterns that most young people who were raised in a Christian home face. There is nothing raunchy or tacky in it, just words that God gave Betsy St. Amant to share with her readers.
Sex and the Christian Marriage Betsy St. Amant
I've been married for almost three years now, and finally, I no longer blush bright red when the word "sex" is mentioned out loud.It's more of a faint pink tinge.Growing up, sex wasn't talked about very much. Not at home, not with family, and certainly not in church! There, the very mention of the word would have turned ears to scarlet and had the deacons popping antacid pills. Sure, every year the youth group did a "True Love Waits" program, but we never got down to the real nitty-gritty. We dutifully signed cards and pledged to "wait for true love and marriage" - whatever that meant.Many Christian youth today are in the same rapidly sinking boat. They have plenty of questions, but not enough people willing to give answers. Or worse, the wrong kind of people are giving the wrong kind of answers. For those getting no answers, sex turns into "This Great Mystery." Lack of information inspires intrigue and sex becomes even more appealing. The lure of the unknown consumes the mind, and much like Eve, regret blooms after one taste of the forbidden fruit. How many young men and women could have been protected if they had just been told that sex was not some guilty pleasure denied them, but rather, a part of God's plan for their future marriage and well worth the wait? How many babies could have been saved if only these young girls had realized not just the negative consequences of sex outside marriage but the positive truth about sex within marriage?Silence Outside Marriage, Confusion Within After the wedding, one of the hardest things for young Christian couples to adjust to is the fact that sex is suddenly - okay! All the years of silence on the "forbidden topic," all the years of feeling guilty for asking questions, all the years of wondering and dreaming, all the years of thinking sex as a "four letter word," suddenly diminish. Sex is expected, allowed, and not only that, but -- gasp -- it's a part of God's plan!During their most formative years Christian teenagers, especially young girls, are often expected to push the topic of sex aside. The good girls are the ones that sign their pledge cards, sit on their hands when dying to ask questions, and polish their purity rings once a week.However, I think those years are equally hard if not harder for young men. Those who remain pure during the trying years of hormone overload get married and suddenly expect to experience everything they've seen on TV, read in books, or heard in the locker room at school. And why wouldn't they? It's all they know.Suddenly, we have two Christians who've done their best to remain pure but may be facing some challenges ahead. Because the mindset "sex is bad" has been drilled into the young woman's mind for as long as she can remember, she finds it hard to relate to her husband physically. This creates tension between the newlywed couple. The woman creates a false sense of guilt in her head, and the young man develops insecurity -- he misreads the situation and assumes something is wrong with him or thinks he is not appealing to his new wife. And what God has purposed for good between a husband and wife becomes distorted. The couples who failed to protect their purity may be facing even greater challenges. Flashbacks from the past, unmet expectations, and recurring guilt plague this couple. Soon distance forms between the man and woman as their pasts begin to consume much of their emotional energy. I firmly believe that nothing makes the Enemy happier than a loveless marriage. Which leaves only one option -- fighting back. Stand up for your marriage. Give your concerns, your guilt, your insecurities, your fears and your past to God. If you remained pure until your wedding day yet still struggle with your emotions and mindsets, pour out your heart to God. Ask Him to change your way of thinking to a mindset that will be honoring and pleasing to both Him and your husband. If you made a sexual mistake in your past, you can still move on. Confess to God, ask Him to forgive you, and make it right from here on out. It's never too late for a fresh start. God is a God of second chances. You have no excuse as to why you can't fight back and save your marriage from the Enemy's grasp. The Subtlety of the SerpentIf the above issues aren't a problem for you, and you consider your marriage to be on track physically and emotionally, there are still many danger signs to watch for. The old adage "Sex Sells" is unfortunately all too true. Sex remains dominant everywhere you look. Movies, television shows, sitcoms, novels, websites, advertisements, commercials...even the "family" channels on TV promote filth in disguise. Characters in both television programs and books sleep together before they're married and promote "casual sex." These shows are often humorous on a superficial level (hence their draw!) but they fail to show the emotional, and usually physical, consequences of such flippant choices.This is obviously an extremely dangerous situation, not only to our youth of today but to married couples everywhere. How can we save our spouse from temptation from such filth when it's everywhere? How can we protect our eyes and ears when it seems sex is plastered all over any form of entertainment? Are we supposed to never see movies? Never turn on the television set? Never pick up a novel? Never venture outside of our house?There are some precautions that are easy to take. For example:1. Before seeing a movie in theaters, I always check out this website: http://www.kidsinmind.com/. This site has a rating scale of 1-10 on sexuality, violence, and language. Not sure what number on the scale is suitable for you or your spouse? You can read on for a detailed account of each category. (2 religious profanity, 3 mild obscenities, 4 F-words, a woman wears a low-cut dress, etc.) This website archives movies back for literally decades if not older -- so you can check out not only movies currently released in theater, but old rentals, as well!2. Ladies, if you love reading romance novels but hate having to flip past the graphic love scenes -- switch over to Christian Fiction. Christian fiction is a growing genre and provides readers with a clean version of the same romance, adventure and escape they seek. Visit my blog for a list of fantastic Christian authors of whom I am a fan: http://www.betsy-ann.blogspot.com/.3. Turn off the TV! Some shows are still worth watching but to be honest, not that many. Spend that quality time with your spouse, instead. Take the dog for a walk together. Pretend to be kids again and go play in the neighborhood park. Work together on a goal or project -- update a room in the house, start your spring cleaning, cook a gourmet meal, etc. There are ways to protect your mind and your spouse's. Filth going in will eventually come out creating painful, lingering consequences. A wife doesn't want to wonder if her husband is comparing her to the partially or completely naked woman he saw on the big screen last night. A husband doesn't want to guess if his wife finds him as attractive as the buff, long-haired hero in the romance novel she devoured that afternoon. Allowing these insecurities in your spouse is not pleasing to God. As an act of love for both your Heavenly Father and your husband/wife, watch what you put into your mind. You might think it doesn't affect you, but it does. No one is immune to sin. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8. One of the enemy's greatest tricks is that of subtlety. You give an inch, he'll take a mile. But you can beat him at his own game -- with a lot of prayer and altering of your entertainment habits.Take these steps toward a healthier marriage today. Filter what you pour into your mind -- it'll eventually seep into your heart. Be sensitive to the emotional and physical needs of your spouse. And remember, within the constraints of marriage, sex is not a four letter word but a unique blessing from God. "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights..." James 1: 17.This article was originally published on Crosswalk Marriage in March 2007
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Balls of Clay
Hope you enjoy this as much as I did...I got it from my sister Shannon.
A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could. He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone!Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struckhim. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away! It's like that with people.
We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel.
It doesn't look like much from the outside.
It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.There is a treasure in each one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay.
May we see the people in our world as God sees them. I am so blessed by the gems of friendship I have with each of you. Thank you for looking beyond my clay vessel.
A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could. He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone!Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struckhim. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away! It's like that with people.
We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel.
It doesn't look like much from the outside.
It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.There is a treasure in each one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay.
May we see the people in our world as God sees them. I am so blessed by the gems of friendship I have with each of you. Thank you for looking beyond my clay vessel.
Friday, March 13, 2009
things that make me go hmmmm....
Has anyone noticed that the big names (Revlon, Almay, Physicians Formula and Loreal) in drug-store cosmetics are all starting to market their "natural" or "mineral" lines like crazy? I have subscriptions to Glamour, Self and Redbook and Almay's ads are everywhere in them. Michael has just enough airline miles before they expire most of the time for us to get free magazine subscriptions, so we get a ton. Anyway, I cannot fathom the money they are spending on advertising with these "green" campaigns, trying to tout how great their new natural products are. Loreal has big glossy print ads at Wal-Mart on the end-caps, promoting their new line. While I'm glad to see that it's becoming more mainstream, what REALLY irritates me is that instead of changing their other products to get rid of petroleum based ingredients and cut out the parabens and quaternium, they just launch a whole new line! What that says to me is that they're not truly looking out for the health of their consumers, they just want to make money off of the ones who will pay a little more to get the newer, more natural products. Ugh! Out of one side of their mouths, they're saying "Buy our natural lines, they're better for you because they don't have those yucky chemicals!", but at the same time, they go along with their other products and still promote them without informing consumers of what they're putting on their skin and ultimately into their bodies! Sure, there are some people who will never, no matter what they see, switch beauty products, but there are many, who would change, especially if they were educated on what really goes into their skincare and makeup.
The Environmental Watch Group (www.cosmeticsdatabase.com) has a listing of what is generally considered safe and what you want to avoid at all costs. Tons of even the high end stuff is horrible for your skin and the environment as a whole, but because of the brand name, it still sells like hotcakes. I love their site and visit about once a month to see what has changed or what new products they have listed. The thing that gets to me is that no matter how "regulated" you think the cosmetic and skincare industry is, the FDA pretty much lets them do their own thing. For years, women have been fed the myth that petroleum jelly will protect their skin, and if a lotion contains it, it must be good for your skin, right? Seriously think about this...when you grab your Chap-Stick, Blistex, Carmex or your more pricy lines like Clinique or Mary Kay, you are putting a byproduct of crude oil on your mouth! I'm all about having soft and supple lips, but give me a tube of Yes to Carrots Lip Butter any day. I used to be a big fan of Burts' Bees products, and I still use their makeup line, but since they were bought out by the Clorox company, I feel like I'm supporting a company that isn't up front with it's customers. More about that in a bit. I found out last night, via conference call with other Yes to Carrots supporters, called V.I.C.'s, that on top of their already amazing line of skincare and hair care products, Yes to Carrots is launching a line of lip shimmers and glosses, lotions with SPF and baby products! Once that happens, everything except my powder and eyemakeup will be a "Yes to" product! I already use their shower gel, shampoo and conditioner, lotion and lip butter, so adding these to my collection will be amazing! My "beauty" routine is pretty simple, I don't use night creams, wrinkle reducers or anything like that. I've been blessed with a clear complection so I just put on mascara, a little eyeliner, powder and whatever lip goody I want on for the day. My hair is pretty simple as well. It's thick and dry, but using the Yes to Carrots shampoo and conditioner has helped it so much. I wash it, towel dry and put in a bit of organic styling aid from Organix and I'm good to go.
As for the issue I have with Clorox and companies like it...here's how I feel. When I was growing up, my mom used Pine-Sol to clean the floors and Clorox for the dirty jobs, like scrubbing the bathroom or kitchen to "kill the germs". Nevermind that we had to keep the windows open for 2-3 hours so that we didn't kill ourselves in the process. That's just what good American moms did. They were fed the lies that to be clean, you had to use all of the newly found chemical cleaners that were on the market. Now, my generation and those ahead of us are suffering the consequences and so is our environment! Then, when the "green revolution" started, companies like 7th Generation and Method were start-ups that saw the need and ONLY produce bio-friendly products. Clorox and S.C. Johnson found that they were making money, so they tried to green-wash their names too. Green Works from Clorox came out about the same time that Clorox purchased Burt's Bees. Now while I still love Burt's Bees products, something deep within me makes me not want to buy them because of their parent company's deception and lack of concern for their customers and their environment. I did my research and have been making my own all purpose household cleaners for about 2 years now. It's amazing what plain ol' white vinegar, baking soda, lemons and essentials can do! For the products that I can't make, I purchase from Method or 7th Generation. Overall, the cost is about the same because I'm not buying multiple cleaning products to do different things...my all-purpose cleaner really does it all. My home doesn't have toxic chemicals floating around like 85% or more of American homes do. I just clean like my Granny and those before her did and I'm happy! My daughters aren't taking a bath in a tub that was cleaned with a chemical cocktail, it's cleaned with vinegar, baking soda and some elbow grease! Their bubble baths are their greatest delight...and we use Yes to Carrots shower gel for those too! It creates great bubbles, softens their skin and is gentle enough for their sensitive skin.
Please remember that just because a company markets natural products doesn't mean they have your best interest in mind. Look at ALL of their products, their ethics, the way they produce their products and how they treat their employees and customer, then make your decision. For your health, for the health of your family and for the impact that your choice has on our future, choose to say "Yes" to products you know are safe, work great and are within your budget. I choose paraben free products because I know they are best for my personal health as well as that of my 2 daughters. If you don't know what parabens are, do a little research and you'll be blown away. I've reduced the number/severity of my migraines by only using paraben free products and I feel SO much better knowing that I'm not slathering lotion on my girls that will end up turning to estrogen in their little bodies! Even if you don't suffer from hormone-related issues, try to steer clear of parabens in any form. Shampoo, conditioner, lotion, makeup, heck, it's even in toothpaste and deodorant! And if you need help making the switch, I'm happy to point you in the right direction and show you where you can get your own products. For those of you in the Ozarks, sometime soon, I'll be hosting a "Yes to Carrots" house party, and the folks at YTC (Ido and Jeremy) have generously offered to send me some samples to share with all of my pals! If you can't wait that long or if you're outside of my area, you can visit http://www.yestocarrots.com/ and join the carrot club to get a coupon. Their products are available at Walgreens and Target :) They stand behind their products and actually care about their customers! I'm excited to see how many people will detox their beauty routine!
So in closing of this super long blog, here is a summary of the things that make me go hmmmm... 'The FDA said it's ok, so that's good right?!?" "Try our new natural line, it's way better for you than our old stuff, but we're still gonna sell everything else to the suckers who don't know any better." "We have ruined lakes, streams and your lungs for years, but now that we have Green Works products available and we own an eco-friendly skin care company, we're still friends right?!?"
Until next blog,
~jill~
Proverbs 31:30
The Environmental Watch Group (www.cosmeticsdatabase.com) has a listing of what is generally considered safe and what you want to avoid at all costs. Tons of even the high end stuff is horrible for your skin and the environment as a whole, but because of the brand name, it still sells like hotcakes. I love their site and visit about once a month to see what has changed or what new products they have listed. The thing that gets to me is that no matter how "regulated" you think the cosmetic and skincare industry is, the FDA pretty much lets them do their own thing. For years, women have been fed the myth that petroleum jelly will protect their skin, and if a lotion contains it, it must be good for your skin, right? Seriously think about this...when you grab your Chap-Stick, Blistex, Carmex or your more pricy lines like Clinique or Mary Kay, you are putting a byproduct of crude oil on your mouth! I'm all about having soft and supple lips, but give me a tube of Yes to Carrots Lip Butter any day. I used to be a big fan of Burts' Bees products, and I still use their makeup line, but since they were bought out by the Clorox company, I feel like I'm supporting a company that isn't up front with it's customers. More about that in a bit. I found out last night, via conference call with other Yes to Carrots supporters, called V.I.C.'s, that on top of their already amazing line of skincare and hair care products, Yes to Carrots is launching a line of lip shimmers and glosses, lotions with SPF and baby products! Once that happens, everything except my powder and eyemakeup will be a "Yes to" product! I already use their shower gel, shampoo and conditioner, lotion and lip butter, so adding these to my collection will be amazing! My "beauty" routine is pretty simple, I don't use night creams, wrinkle reducers or anything like that. I've been blessed with a clear complection so I just put on mascara, a little eyeliner, powder and whatever lip goody I want on for the day. My hair is pretty simple as well. It's thick and dry, but using the Yes to Carrots shampoo and conditioner has helped it so much. I wash it, towel dry and put in a bit of organic styling aid from Organix and I'm good to go.
As for the issue I have with Clorox and companies like it...here's how I feel. When I was growing up, my mom used Pine-Sol to clean the floors and Clorox for the dirty jobs, like scrubbing the bathroom or kitchen to "kill the germs". Nevermind that we had to keep the windows open for 2-3 hours so that we didn't kill ourselves in the process. That's just what good American moms did. They were fed the lies that to be clean, you had to use all of the newly found chemical cleaners that were on the market. Now, my generation and those ahead of us are suffering the consequences and so is our environment! Then, when the "green revolution" started, companies like 7th Generation and Method were start-ups that saw the need and ONLY produce bio-friendly products. Clorox and S.C. Johnson found that they were making money, so they tried to green-wash their names too. Green Works from Clorox came out about the same time that Clorox purchased Burt's Bees. Now while I still love Burt's Bees products, something deep within me makes me not want to buy them because of their parent company's deception and lack of concern for their customers and their environment. I did my research and have been making my own all purpose household cleaners for about 2 years now. It's amazing what plain ol' white vinegar, baking soda, lemons and essentials can do! For the products that I can't make, I purchase from Method or 7th Generation. Overall, the cost is about the same because I'm not buying multiple cleaning products to do different things...my all-purpose cleaner really does it all. My home doesn't have toxic chemicals floating around like 85% or more of American homes do. I just clean like my Granny and those before her did and I'm happy! My daughters aren't taking a bath in a tub that was cleaned with a chemical cocktail, it's cleaned with vinegar, baking soda and some elbow grease! Their bubble baths are their greatest delight...and we use Yes to Carrots shower gel for those too! It creates great bubbles, softens their skin and is gentle enough for their sensitive skin.
Please remember that just because a company markets natural products doesn't mean they have your best interest in mind. Look at ALL of their products, their ethics, the way they produce their products and how they treat their employees and customer, then make your decision. For your health, for the health of your family and for the impact that your choice has on our future, choose to say "Yes" to products you know are safe, work great and are within your budget. I choose paraben free products because I know they are best for my personal health as well as that of my 2 daughters. If you don't know what parabens are, do a little research and you'll be blown away. I've reduced the number/severity of my migraines by only using paraben free products and I feel SO much better knowing that I'm not slathering lotion on my girls that will end up turning to estrogen in their little bodies! Even if you don't suffer from hormone-related issues, try to steer clear of parabens in any form. Shampoo, conditioner, lotion, makeup, heck, it's even in toothpaste and deodorant! And if you need help making the switch, I'm happy to point you in the right direction and show you where you can get your own products. For those of you in the Ozarks, sometime soon, I'll be hosting a "Yes to Carrots" house party, and the folks at YTC (Ido and Jeremy) have generously offered to send me some samples to share with all of my pals! If you can't wait that long or if you're outside of my area, you can visit http://www.yestocarrots.com/ and join the carrot club to get a coupon. Their products are available at Walgreens and Target :) They stand behind their products and actually care about their customers! I'm excited to see how many people will detox their beauty routine!
So in closing of this super long blog, here is a summary of the things that make me go hmmmm... 'The FDA said it's ok, so that's good right?!?" "Try our new natural line, it's way better for you than our old stuff, but we're still gonna sell everything else to the suckers who don't know any better." "We have ruined lakes, streams and your lungs for years, but now that we have Green Works products available and we own an eco-friendly skin care company, we're still friends right?!?"
Until next blog,
~jill~
Proverbs 31:30
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