Did you hear the one about the Baptist ostrich?

Honestly, you could insert any Christian denomination in the place of "Baptist", but speaking as a Baptist and having grown up in Baptist churches my entire life, I'm coming from the "generic" Baptist perspective. Throughout the Old Testament, you see God's command to His people to care for the widows, fatherless and orphans. Exodus 22:22, Deuteronomy 10:18, 14:29 and 16:11 all tell us that we are to show love to these people and help them along the way. He even goes so far as to tell His people to leave the extras they have after harvest and make sure that they have food. Psalm 68:5 says "Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy." Another verse says "Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and the poor. And do not scheme against each other." (Zechariah 7:10). There are SO many more verses that talk about what God expects of us in regard to being His hands and feet to those who, as the world may see it, been dealt a bad hand.

Although the Bible doesn't specifically mention what we know as "single parents", I fully believe that they fit into this group as well. No matter how they found themselves parenting a child alone, whether it be divorce, infidelity, abusive situations, or just finding themselves alone through other circumstances, we need to reach out to them! Teen mothers, for example, are not society's model parents. They often struggle to stay afloat and have little or no family support. Their boyfriend splits and they find themselves at a loss. The expectant teen moms who choose life are faced with not being able to provide for themselves and their babies. If they were "churched", most of their fellow church members turn their backs and consider them unworthy of the church's time and efforts. I'm not saying that I believe it's ok to continue in the ways that they were in and keep having sex outside of marriage. Sex is a gift that God gave us to share with our spouse in the bonds of marriage.

That's where another type of judgement comes into play in way too many churches. The Bible doesn't condone divorce, but it also doesn't condone over-eating, breaking the speed limit (or any other laws of man), or running up your credit cards with no way to pay. All sin is equal, and because we in this world, we will face it. Divorce rates are almost the same in churches now as they'd been with unchurched couples. I personally have seen couples that I would have never thought would split up, and now they don't even want to talk to each other. I believe that it gives Satan great joy to see this, that he loves seeing families being torn apart and leaving the fold. When divorce happens in a Baptist church, the spouse who tried everything to make their marriage work and still attends church is treated horribly! Why is it so hard to acknowledge that we live in a broken world with broken people, and that Christ wants us, the church, to reach out to them? I really struggle with seeing divorcees treated like 2nd class Christians. My own mom was married 3 times. Her first husband was in the Air Force and was killed in a plane crash off the coast of Spain. She was only in her early 20's and was faced with raising 2 little girls by herself. She then married a man who had 4 kids, and then she of course had my 2 sisters. They had my other sister together and after years of dealing with some tough issues (which I won't disclose because it's not appropriate to share with the blogosphere)they were divorced. A few years later, she met my dad and they were married. I was the only child born of their marriage and I believe they'd still be married today if he were still alive. Sure, they had their tiffs, but all in all, I can truly say that they loved each other. When I was little, a person in a leadership position at a church was talking about how divorced people don't have any value to the church, that they shouldn't be doing any kind of ministry. This particular person apparently didn't know my mom was a divorcee and she asked him, "So, what are you going to do with all of us divorced people?" He stood there gobsmacked, not knowing how to respond. My mom has now been a widow for almost 13 years and as far back as I can remember, she has served wherever she could. In her mid 60's, she even travels to the women's prison in Arkansas and volunteers as a chaplain. She reached out to the orphans and needy in Guyana and eventually adopted my little sister. Tell me, does this sound like God can't use a divorced person? If you join a church and you're already divorced, you're really blessed if you can actually find a church with a divorce recovery class or some type of support. Even if you're remarried, I feel like the church should still offer some kind of outreach to show you that you ARE of worth to our King.

Look at the Samaritan woman in John 4. First of all, being a Samaritan put her on the edge of society, with no one reaching out to her. On top of that, she'd been married multiple times and was living/sleeping with a man that she wasn't married to. Jesus came to the well to get a drink after his long journey. He saw her and asked for a drink. She was blown away that a Jew would talk to her, much less ask for a drink. Jesus started to tell her about water that would quench her thirst forever. She said she wanted that water, and He told her, "Go and get your husband." "I don't have a husband", the woman replied. Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!” Can you imagine how she must have felt? Jesus then goes on to say "“Believe me, dear woman, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem. You Samaritans know very little about the one you worship, while we Jews know all about him, for salvation comes through the Jews. But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.”
The woman said, “I know the Messiah is coming—the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Then Jesus told her, “I Am the Messiah!” Just then his disciples came back. They were shocked to find him talking to a woman, but none of them had the nerve to ask, “What do you want with her?” or “Why are you talking to her?” The woman left her water jar beside the well and ran back to the village, telling everyone, “Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could he possibly be the Messiah?” So the people came streaming from the village to see him. Verses 39-42 go on to say "Many Samaritans from the village believed in Jesus because the woman had said, “He told me everything I ever did!” When they came out to see him, they begged him to stay in their village. So he stayed for two days, long enough for many more to hear his message and believe. Then they said to the woman, “Now we believe, not just because of what you told us, but because we have heard him ourselves. Now we know that he is indeed the Savior of the world.” Wait, did you really get that?!? Not only did he reach out to the Samaritan woman who so many thought of as a worthless tramp, but He spent 2 more days with the people of Samaria, sharing His love and pouring compassion on them.

So, does God want the church to reach divorcees, single parents, teen parents, the kid down the street or at your child's school that doesn't have anyone to show him/her the love of Christ, or even the little old widow woman down the street? Does He expect a higher standard of living from His children, one that means that we step out of our comfort zone and our legalistic "convictions" about how many times someone has been married, how many tattoos they have, or even how many children they have out of wedlock? Yes! We are to be salt and light, but if we're too busy inside the doors of our church building, doing the same thing that those before us had done to actually be "the church", the bride of Christ, we can't and won't reach the lost and hurting where they are. Many in situations that I described above feel like they're not worthy to come to church or are afraid of being judged because of their past. It's time to pull our heads out of the sand and get down to the business of our Father, not just during church hours, but all of the time! It's almost as if churches in general would rather love the lovely but not reach out to the hurting. There are folks in our churches that did everything they knew to save their marriage, but if their spouse wasn't willing to come back to Christ and renew their love for the other, nothing they could do would change the outcome. I've cried and prayed over couples that I thought surely would make it, and sadly, some didn't make it through. God doesn't like divorce, but He is a God that forgives, provides healing and loves them through the storms, and so should we. Pastors are called to be "the husband of one wife", therefore, the common belief in Baptist churches is that means never divorced. But do you see anywhere else that says God doesn't want you if you've been through a divorce? Why is it so hard for Baptists to reach out beyond their 200 year old comfort zone and meet people where they are? In doing so, Christians aren't saying the "sin" is ok, but we're saying that we, the sinners, are no different than them in God's eyes. If we see a brother or sister struggling, we are supposed to reach for them and help them get back on their feet and show them the indescribable love of God!

I'm not going to lie, I used to find myself judging others choices in life, such as having a child outside of marriage, divorce, and not taking care of their children the way they should. It's something I've gotten better with, but occasionally I still struggle. Growing up so sheltered, I didn't see that my sin of backtalking my mom or any number of "little white sins" was, in fact, just as displeasing to God as the girl my age who was sleeping around or the boy who had a hidden porn stash. We need to remember that no matter the situation we may see others in, we wear His name! To quote Newsong..."In a world that's lost in hopelessness, we've been called to be the light, we wear His name!"

I know this has been a lengthy blog, but I've had this on my heart for a while, and after watching "The Blind Side", I knew I had to write. God has been so good to all of us, and we just sit back and expect someone else to reach out to the single mom who is struggling to take care of 2 or 3 kids, or for another person to reach out to someone who is still living every day knowing that their husband or wife rejected them. We want someone else to take care of the dirty little kid down the street, whose mom lets him play in the road and roam the neighborhood after dark, because she's too busy with her own life. Even harder is to be the one to reach out to that mom! As a mom, sometimes I just want to walk up to parents and smack them across the face and ask what their deal is, why don't they take care of their kids, when in fact, I should be showing that person that no matter where they are in life, God cares and so do I. So what'll it be? Will all of us continue to be like the ostrich, keeping our head in the sand and ignoring issues that are all around us, or will we truly be the body of Christ?

(All verses were quoted from the New Living Translation)